The Future Is .. Sober

The Future Is .. Sober

On my journey I have been criticised for calling it an ‘experiment’, that ‘proper addicts’ can’t ‘experiment’ with sobriety. For the record, I’ve never called myself an addict & or an alcoholic .. for me it is irrelevant if I am either. I had a problem with alcohol, admitted it, and my personal choice was to stop doing it, for good, forever. 

An interesting question I’ve been asked is why I chose to become completely sober & not moderate my intake if I’m not a proper addict. My answer is always that if I knew what moderation/moderating was and was able to do it, don’t you think I would’ve been doing that before?!

Alcohol is so ingrained in our culture, so acceptable. Imagine swapping photos on Facebook of people drinking alcohol for people shooting up heroin (considered to be a less harmful drug). Social media would become a plethora of zombies and needles. This is how I see alcohol now. A powerful, socially acceptable killer. In my view, moderation is just a slow release of a drug rather than bingeing it like I did. Sadly, the end result is the same. Alcohol is a poison whether you drink it slowly or not.

My heart breaks for people who try abstaining from alcohol, love it and then reintroduce it slowly to enjoy themselves at the weekend, fearing they are inferior without it. It is rare this is successful. I read about lots of people who say that once they start moderating, their old habits soon reappear and they are back to square one. After all, we all know how one or two drinks can soon escalate into a couple of days & disaster. That’s what got us in this mess in the first place.

The more sober I become, the more I can see the sadness spread across our society. I see it walking through town, I see it in the supermarket and particularly notice it on vacuous dating sites. Sad eyes blink back at me, photos of men with pints like trophies. It makes me want to scream ‘that pint is a deterrent not a magnet’ but what’s the point? They think it’s making them happy when actually it’s masking a multitude of problems. One day, they will understand. 

I believe the future will not be about getting hammered. Remember, only 20 odd years ago we were still smoking on aeroplanes. Alcohol is expensive & ruining lives. The younger generation have already worked out alcohol makes you fat and drink far less than we did at their age.

I believe that in the future, alcohol will become as much of an issue as smoking, that it will be recognised for the harmful toxin it really is and that there will be more (less expensive) help available for those affected. I believe it will become socially unacceptable to drink until you’re sick, that maybe people will start to understand the damage being done rather than think it’s a hilarious incident. 

I believe that it will become more socially acceptable to be sober than be a drunken slurring mess. 

I believe Soberdom is the future. 

#day343 #soberrevolution

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It’s a new Dawn

It’s a new Dawn

So, now my body is a temple, fuelled only by Overnight Oats and Elderflower Presse, it’s got me thinking about my mind, about my emotions.

All my life, I have been described as a drama queen .. over-emotional .. an attention seeker .. the life & soul .. THE party animal .. a crier when drunk. I prefer to think of myself as passionate and fun, only cries on special occasions (!) and tells a good story. 

Before soberdom, I used to cry. A lot. It didn’t matter where or when, it was my release. I cried at home, at work, in the car. I cried if I was happy. Or if I was sad. Which was a lot. I cried if I was tired. Or if I was angry. I was the ultimate drunk crier. 

I was trying to think when I last cried. I know I did in November. A lot. Before I gave up alcohol, and the relationshit, for good. And I know I did in December when I was so ill with flu that I had to cancel going to Christmas parties (see? drama queen). But I honestly can’t remember crying since then.

As well as being a champion crier, I’m pretty good at arguments. And winning arguments. Mainly because people find it easier and far less time to consuming just to give in. But again, I can’t remember the last argument I had. Or when I last felt like arguing. 

Throughout my life, I have taken numerous personality tests. It was always the same result. I was in the red corner, in the dominant box, likened to leaders such as Hitler and Maggie Thatcher. Empathy was always at the bottom of the list, together with sympathy and compassion. I was a tyrant who cried at the drop of a hat.
But now, I don’t feel like I’d be in the red, angry corner. I don’t feel like the dominant tyrant anymore, out to win an argument. I feel a bit more green or yellow. Mellow yellow. Less antsy. More hearts and flowers. I don’t cry anymore. I’m not sad. I’m not drunk. 

Someone asked me whether I drank because things were bad or whether things were bad because I drank. The question stumped me. I don’t know the answer. It was an alcohol fuelled viscous circle. Who knows? But what I do know, is that by removing the fuel, there is no fire. My emotions are stable, my eyes are dry. I am rational and in control. I am happy.

#day129

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