So many people, like me, think they don’t have an ‘off switch’. In fact, I thought I didn’t have one for most of my life. This leads to proper bingeing. It could be from devouring a whole packet of biscuits in one sitting or smoking a whole packet of cigarettes or drinking a bottle (or 5) of wine, nothing could have stopped me.
I’ve always been the same. Enough is never enough. Apparently, at the church Jubilee party in 1977, aged 2 and 3/4, I had to be dragged away after everyone else had left, as I didn’t want the party to end. This trait stayed with me until recently when, aged 42 and a bit (a mere 40 years later), I finally decided to put a end to gluttony and indulgence.
I am lucky. I had a good childhood with most things I wanted. Sweets were a treat on special occasions however, when I was let loose as an adult, I had as many sweets as I could stomach. Literally. As I grew older, I realised I couldn’t buy big bags or multiple bags, or actually keep sweets in the house, as I wouldn’t stop until they were gone. The same happened with wine. And cigarettes. If I took advantage of the ‘buy 6 bottles and get 5% off’, I’d drink them in record time. And don’t get me started on boxes of 200 cigarettes at Duty Free!
I often think, wouldn’t it be lovely to have one, maybe two glasses of Prosecco, go to bed at midnight and wake up feeling fresh. I’m not sure I have ever done this. Once the first glass is consumed, I’m anybody’s! Usually until the early hours, until the first Prosecco is a long, distant memory. And I’m on repeat.
If I ever decided to drive to dinner or the pub, I probably wouldn’t bother with any alcohol, as couldn’t really see the point of ‘just the one’. If I did have ‘just the one’ I’d then spend the entire evening hatching a plan as to how to leave my car and pick it up the next day. An utterly pointless waste of time.
Today is day 51 of not drinking or smoking and I’m on a healthy eating plan. I’m full of vitamins and feel great .. I’m moving more and have tons more energy, as well as sleeping better and feel much sharper. I’m still struggling a little with social situations, especially where others are indulging, but I know that, in time, they will become easier and drunk people will become funny again!
I’m so happy I have finally located said ‘off switch’. I feel lucky now that I know I actually do have one as I know others struggle to find theirs. The trick now is to keep it jammed firmly in the ‘off’ position whilst I nurture my body, rather than destroying it week in, week out. And not lose it for the next 40 years .. if I have that long left!
Hi great blog sober fish! Can I ask what vitimans you take plz..the cheap ones are rubbish 🙁 I am stuck in my own head.lethargy and a dark cloud is berating me.im close to your numbers.the novelty is gone.i just feel done in x
Hello! Thank you for your comment! I’m jus taking Vit C and multivitamins .. and eating loads of fruit and green veg .. I think we’re all having a tough time at the mo .. we need some warm weather! Are you doing exercise? I find that helps when I’m feeling low
Hi Dawn, thank you , just started reading your blog, I’m about to start the 90 day challenge on Monday and scared half to death. How much were you drinking and did you suffer any withdrawals?
Hi Vikki, you’re gonna do great! It’s such a game changer! I actually stopped drinking before I planned to, as was bedridden with the flu, so hard to say if I had withdrawal symptoms. I was a binge drinker and would drink to excess most weekends, for hours on end. The hard bit is at the beginning, breaking the bad habits but soon you’ll start to reap the rewards. Good luck and stay in touch
OMG…. I’m a mirror image of how you describe yourself, what ‘off’ switch. Exactly!!!!
Booze is my weakness and I’m so glad to have stumbled on your blog. Any pointers on where to start please?
Thank you.